Time moves in circles. Clockwise. Anti-clockwise. Existence becomes intangible; it cracks with our every movement. & We fall through coiled labyrinths that lead into motionless worlds with reigning emptiness. We can feel every hard edge and every fracture of the world; it hurts. Winter will soon come and this toxic feeling of absence will grow stronger.
We do not pretend to understand how this works. You don’t hold my hand and I don’t move towards you. We stand next to each other: with glazed lips and caked eyes, full of fire. With burning suns in the place of our hearts and thoughts travelling at the speed of light.
We give up sleeping and taking our meds. We want to dance on a bed of nails and breathe out worlds the way we breathe in fire. The electricity passes through our bodies and we travel to the edge of the universe, through celestial lanes. We cannot be grounded anymore. We cannot tame the force that binds our minds and connects every distant world and parallel dimension; every world that could be and every world that could never exist. Unable to stop the hurricanes and star-rains, we reject their manufactured truths and artificial numbness. Their constructed worlds of normalcy that reek of apathy and coldness. We reject the stability that comes from deep roots that keep us stranded; we crave Hermes’ wings and at this moment anything is possible.
But moments fade away fast. They don’t last; not for eternity, like childhood scars do. Like melancholy and pain do.
But we forget this truth and orbit around orange-red suns; and we will play with fire, until there is nothing left of us.
But even so, and even for a just a moment, we will be so violently and so fully alive.
Tags: bi-polar, creative words, life stories
That was incredibly moving, the line about feeling the hard edges of the world just rang so true. Genuinely so impressed by this piece of writing, amazing.
I said this on FB but I’ll say it here too: FWIW I consider this probably the most beautiful thing you’ve written (or at least that I’ve had the pleasure/enlightenment of reading), and that’s saying a lot. I miss writing that’s like breathing, and that’s definitely what this is.
<3
Great piece. Reminds me of the symptom of Mania (as a compliment).
Keep this up, great writing!