November 1st, 2009
Tangled in purple and turquoise threads, in truths that used to be lies and lies that used to be truths. I cannot seem to find my way through these dull stars. Through reflections and shadows, through dissolving towers, that yesterday stood among white gold moons. I have walked through worlds that shivered with grief, that rippled from torment. And worlds that dazzled like abundant dreams. Intangible worlds. Fragile. They shudder as I lift my eyelids.
& I’m lost again like rain and tears; the walls around me crack and I can’t paint it all they way they were before. I can’t play this game of deception anymore. The colourful facets and false memories. The running mascara and clown smiles. I can’t run fast enough to escape from my own thoughts. I can’t run at all. It’s all falling apart and I’m standing through the rain – a mockingbird with no face of my own and a million crying voices that I do not recognize.
Tags: words
Posted in Writings | 2 Comments »
October 12th, 2009
Some call it a gift, but it’s my curse – to see through the walls of all worlds, possible and impossible, past and future. I can feel the pain of every butterfly you kill, of every flower you step on. I can see what you could never dare and I remember everything. The melodies and orbits of the universe, its heart and the brightness of the sun stars and the absolute emptiness of a black hole, all contained within a dream, a dream of pain and roses.
I know you and I’ll never forget.
Tags: words
Posted in Writings | 6 Comments »
October 11th, 2009
Tags: funny, video
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September 18th, 2009
People would never understand. About the nightmares that crawl underneath her skin. About the pain and the roses. Those red roses she keeps underneath her pillow. She has used the thorns to bleed herself alive, at those dark days of stillness and endless repetition of whiteness, of bareness around her.
But there are other days too. The days she collects the roses. Those incredibly fast, radiant days when she runs with palms full of sun, eyes like volcanoes, heart like neverland and breathes out glitter and kaleidoscopic worlds.
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Tags: bi-polar, life stories, words
Posted in Writings, life stories | 4 Comments »
September 12th, 2009
Time moves in circles. Clockwise. Anti-clockwise. Existence becomes intangible; it cracks with our every movement. & We fall through coiled labyrinths that lead into motionless worlds with reigning emptiness. We can feel every hard edge and every fracture of the world; it hurts. Winter will soon come and this toxic feeling of absence will grow stronger.
We do not pretend to understand how this works. You don’t hold my hand and I don’t move towards you. We stand next to each other: with glazed lips and caked eyes, full of fire. With burning suns in the place of our hearts and thoughts travelling at the speed of light.
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Tags: bi-polar, life stories, words
Posted in LiveJournal post, Writings, life stories | 4 Comments »
September 1st, 2009
Falling ocean-deep into a dark whirlwind of thoughts and starry skies. There is a strange calmness as I slowly spin around on the harbour’s dark gravel. The fading voices of the people blowing smoke, the bronze half moon that we watch sinking. The tied boats and monochrome lights that create patterns around the small village. All these people who spit out words and laughter, who call me by my name and share their food and drinks and cigarettes with me – all these people I’m surrounded with… And yet I’m alone. They think I’m real, but I’m only an echo. Time and space behave as if in a dream and I’m forced to hash my screams – I know what happens to dream characters when the dream ends. I know and I clasp the rail and hold on as firmly as I can. I will not be sucked away into nothingness; I will not dissolve into air. Not yet.
But for how long?
We see clouds gathering on the sky. Sunlight never lasts. Soon the darkness will come – as it always does. I will sink in it and let it consume me whole. And when I jump into nothingness, it will be willingly.
Tags: bi-polar, life stories, words
Posted in LiveJournal post, Writings, life stories | 9 Comments »
August 25th, 2009
As it happens for the last thirty years, every summer there is at least one out-of-control fire in Greece and the government has little idea of what is going on.
The wildfires broke out across Greece, and especially the Attica region, last Friday night. On Saturday we were awoken to a red-grey sky. We could see the fire coming closer, ashes were falling from the sky, it was getting darker and harder to breathe. Moreover, the usual craze on TV was anything but helpful.
The fire was coming too close, too fast. We were ordered to leave our houses. There was no time to pack or take anything with us. I only managed to change from my pyjamas to a pair of jeans and put on my shoes, grab my two already packed bags – since I’ve only arrived from London the night before and hadn’t unpacked – and run towards the screaming people (hard to miss).
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Tags: greece, greek fires, life stories
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