The fights you cannot see

September 19th, 2017

“A cache of courage to brace against the blinding pain
Each one of us fights battles no one else can see
Some days just waking up is an act of bravery”
– Bravery, Assemblage 23


They brought her flowers in the hospital. But she couldn’t see. Drenched in shadows and silence and pain. That never-ending pain. Take your pills, young girl, they say. Take your pills and maybe you’ll be alive tomorrow. Don’t give up, they say. But (truth is) they never stay. And the flowers wither; the days pass and those white walls get greyer as does the sky outside.
{They bring us flowers, but they never stand with us. They never fight. They never understand.
And it’s killing us to try. But we do it everyday.}



August 19th, 2017

“Things end. That’s all. Everything ends, and it’s always sad. But everything begins again too, and that’s… always happy. Be happy. I’ll look after everything else.” – The Doctor


It was summer, and it was hot and it was dark; a dark summer night with only a sliver of a moon on the sky. It was almost sad. The kind of sad that leaves a bitter aftertaste.

Silence stagnated like a pool of pain-softened dreams – just like those I kept next to me. There was something delicate, like soft tears dripping, something elusive live a clouded reflection; there was something inevitable like grief, like endings.
And I just stood there, barefoot on the edge of the ocean. On the edge of something I thought I lost long time ago.

(I thought if I held my breath and bandaged myself, they would never know.)


I was the girl that always drifted away, a hoarder of “what-ifs”, always moving between fire clouds and empty spaces. I was the girl with the eyes made of storms and secrets kept deeper that anyone would reach. I was the quiet girl on a hot summer night, and I could see the stars decaying, my wishes dissipating.


I could see the world ending and yet beginning at the same time. Because despite everything I still clang to poetry. I still believed in love collisions and dream-weaved futures. Because deep down I never really gave up.
You see, I was the girl that saw through the blindfold, beyond the wreckage. I was the girl that survived. Ophelia saved. By herself.


Currently watching: Blutengel ❤️