Posts Tagged ‘sad’

May 2017 – The month that was

Sunday, June 18th, 2017

May was sadness and a sun hiding behind rain clouds. It was travelling even more and going out and hiding behind a laughter that wasn’t quite my own.
I did so many fun things, but everything was obscured by a grey-veil. A cold, numbing veil that covered up my days and left behind trails like muddied snowflakes.
The days seemed fleeting. There was loneliness and moonlight pooling in my almost grey eyes. A sorrowful silence between breaths and words.
And out of the shadows, there was a familiar, yet dark voice. Asking me where I am. (“I’m right here.” “Just let go…, let go…“) Sometimes. It’s too dark out there. & some people pull you too deep down…
But it’s almost summer now. And I’ve already discarded my old cocoons like cigarette ashes. For I’ve realised that all my limits are self-inflicted. And I might have been Persephone, but Hades: you only rule the dead and I never even cared for you anyway.


After March

Tuesday, April 4th, 2017

March is over now, and where are you? There’s a void, where the nightingale’s rose should be. & I’m just an ivory girl; a tear-soaked trail of feelings left behind me. I’m quivering, filled with the inability to forget (you). An undefined sadness, an almost-shadow hiding in the corner of my green-blue eyes. A constant reminder of how it hurts. To know. To feel. To remember.
How fragile we really are… (and yet how strong)
Am I disappearing in the background, or falling out of frame? The key is still missing, and all the doors are locked. The night devoid of stars, like a desolate veil, falls on my arms. And maybe one day, after everything, I won’t hesitate. Maybe one day I’ll believe. Maybe one day I’ll be free of Atlas’ weight.
Maybe today.
And the thing is I will always love you. Growing up I collected my dreams, stored them in mason jars. Today I set them free.
Today after days of stumbling upon the remains of a borrowed life, after battling with aphonia for four days, and after a funeral (a dose of denial, hidden behind a malfunctioning smile); today I set myself free, first day of spring, first day of something new. First day of everything.