Posts Tagged ‘creative words’

MockingBird

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

Tangled in purple and turquoise threads, in truths that used to be lies and lies that used to be truths. I cannot seem to find my way through these dull stars. Through reflections and shadows, through dissolving towers, that yesterday stood among white gold moons. I have walked through worlds that shivered with grief, that rippled from torment. And worlds that dazzled like abundant dreams. Intangible worlds. Fragile. They shudder as I lift my eyelids.

& I’m lost again like rain and tears; the walls around me crack and I can’t paint it all they way they were before. I can’t play this game of deception anymore. The colourful facets and false memories. The running mascara and clown smiles. I can’t run fast enough to escape from my own  thoughts. I can’t run at all. It’s all falling apart and I’m standing through the rain – a mockingbird with no face of my own and a million crying voices that I do not recognize.

Roses in the hospital

Friday, September 18th, 2009

People would never understand. About the nightmares that crawl underneath her skin. About the pain and the roses. Those red roses she keeps underneath her pillow. She has used the thorns to bleed herself alive, at those dark days of stillness and endless repetition of whiteness, of bareness around her.

But there are other days too. The days she collects the roses. Those incredibly fast, radiant days when she runs with palms full of sun, eyes like volcanoes, heart like neverland and breathes out glitter and kaleidoscopic worlds.

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Hurricanes and star-rains

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

Time moves in circles. Clockwise. Anti-clockwise. Existence becomes intangible; it cracks with our every movement. & We fall through coiled labyrinths that lead into motionless worlds with reigning emptiness. We can feel every hard edge and every fracture of the world; it hurts. Winter will soon come and this toxic feeling of absence will grow stronger.

We do not pretend to understand how this works. You don’t hold my hand and I don’t move towards you. We stand next to each other: with glazed lips and caked eyes, full of fire. With burning suns in the place of our hearts and thoughts travelling at the speed of light.

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The Calm before the Storm

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009

Falling ocean-deep into a dark whirlwind of thoughts and starry skies. There is a strange calmness as I slowly spin around on the harbour’s dark gravel. The fading voices of the people blowing smoke, the bronze half moon that we watch sinking. The tied boats and monochrome lights that create patterns around the small village. All these people who spit out words and laughter, who call me by my name and share their food and drinks and cigarettes with me – all these people I’m surrounded with… And yet I’m alone. They think I’m real, but I’m only an echo. Time and space behave as if in a dream and I’m forced to hash my screams – I know what happens to dream characters when the dream ends. I know and I clasp the rail and hold on as firmly as I can. I will not be sucked away into nothingness; I will not dissolve into air. Not yet.

But for how long?

We see clouds gathering on the sky.  Sunlight never lasts. Soon the darkness will come – as it always does. I will sink in it and let it consume me whole. And when I jump into nothingness, it will be willingly.

Summer Tale

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

Underwater light falls like a feather; the sun-rays drip and spill all around.
The sun’s turning orange and crimson, burning the sky with the last of its light, before slowly fading to the infinite night.
She is white like porcelain with green/blue/purple eyelids. She has fallen asleep, naked on the sand.

We’ve been running all day. Underneath the sea-waters.
It’s alright, she said. You can breathe. We are mermaids. We can reach farther and farther, with figures ever-stretching, ever-reaching and minds ever-wondering, ever-searching.
Just breathe.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Now she’s lying next to red poppies and golden gravel. I kiss her lips and pay her in sea-shells and summer berries. I have to leave before she wakes up and swallows me whole, with her red-coral-hands and carnivorous starfish eyes.

Fairytale-Girl

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

Underneath the midnight blue sky, her eyes are flickering, glistening, dripping salty pearls. She’s frail, like wings of a butterfly; parched for colours, for rainbows, for stars undead. Standing in the middle of the rainstorm she is calling to the moon, the sky, the water nymphs.
She wants to be a fairytale. White like snow, red locks of hair like flames, and ruby lips like a blood rose, like the poisonous apple. A butterfly-like girl with a swan neck and a silky purple dress, long enough to fit the moon.

Eileen

Wednesday, August 5th, 2009

Today is another of the grey days. The slow ones. The ones with a lot of background noise and summer rain. With a kind of warm embrace, yet almost suffocating.

The sky is full of smoke from burnt dreams and tomorrows that will never be. There are ashes in her eyes and a burning sun-star in the place of her heart. She looks serene, but her reflection reveals the sorrow curved scars and the ghosts that haunt her fragile figure. Her frozen breath leaves a cloud over the mirror. She can feel the earth move, she can feel the sharp edges of the world and the desperation of the sun. She can feel a disarray of sunrays slashing her skin; and that ever-consuming, ever-burning and so deeply embedded inside of her, that incessant yearning for another’s embrace.

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Persephone’s Curse

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

Today we saved a butterfly and painted glitter flowers with tiny pollen flakes. This is another faerie dream that has sprung out of a rift in nightmares. And I think I was crying in a dream, but I don’t remember what you looked like.
All I can see now is tiny star-shaped flowers sprinkled with fairy dust. I see kaleidoscopes twisting, swirling and disappearing like rainbows on a cloudy sky.
The sun hasn’t set for days. I can’t seem to stop running. Chasing light gleams and sea-songs. Almost like a child.

Almost. Because deep down I know the truth. I know the sun will set. I know it would have to die. I know Hades would climb up from the depths of the earth and he would drag me down to the mouldy darkness. Always. He always comes and I always fall.

(2009-5-7)

Tomorrow

Sunday, May 3rd, 2009

We are standing at the end of this indigo sky. The moon, tainted, forgets your name. I have been calling for you. I have been waiting.
I have always been waiting. Always living for tomorrow’s dreams.
          But tomorrow can never come.

The Sky is too dark

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007

They came one day with guns and told us our country didn’t belong to us. They took our houses and our lands. They shot those who resisted. They captured the moon and tortured it until it bled silver. Friends and relatives fell like tree leaves in the autumn.
We grew up with an invisible, yet impenetrable wall that wouldn’t let us stand in the ground that was ours. I saw the soldiers. I saw their guns. I felt the pain and their hate. Time didn’t bring relief. It didn’t bring peace. Only oblivion. For less people care now. They’ve accepted thing as they are. It is easier for them. But there is still a hollow place inside of us. Still a black spot where the moon used to be.