Uncomment code?

Uncommented code isn’t gatekeeping. It’s abstract art. I’m as lost as you are. No clue why it runs, but rule #1 of programming: if it works, don’t touch it.

Technology is a predator.

Deadlines and desperation feed it. Computers don’t freeze, apps don’t glitch, printers and servers don’t break — they hunt. You are the prey.

I know…

— I know what you did last summer.
— Congrats, so does everyone with an internet connection.

The progress Bar

Computers can predict the weather, map the stars, and simulate reality — but ask how long an upade or a backup takes and suddenly time’s a myth. 34 hours. 15 hours. 5 minutes. Twenty minutes later: 10 minutes.
Time isn’t real. The progress bar lies.
The machine laughs. (I probably cry.)

Imaginary Numbers

An invention of mathematicians (√i = -1). They don’t exist, but apparently that’s fine. When mathematicians can’t solve a problem, they invent a number; when students do it, they fail the exam.

Collaborative Research

Once known as group projects. One person does the coding and the writing, one falls asleep or has no idea what’s going on, one disappears completely — and everyone gets authorship.

The Laws of File Deletion and File Recovery

Delete a useless file? It’ll cling to life and haunt your drive forever — effortlessly recoverable at any time.

Delete something humiliating? It will inevitably claw its way out of the digital grave at the worst possible moment — probably projected on a big screen during a meeting. With sound. Because that’s how these things work.

Delete a mission-critical file by mistake? Congratulations — it’s gone. Vapourised. Vanished into the void. No tool, no wizard, no backup will ever find it again. You could throw £5,000 at some data recovery specialist — but all that’ll do is ensure you’re both file-less and £5,000-less.