Grey-sky eyes

I’m the girl with fires behind my eyes and lighting in my head that makes me unable to concentrate, unable to stop moving, to stop the noise in my head, the voices that aren’t mine. A million thoughts at once – confusion overcomes me. I cry moonlight, I’m burning up, I want to touch the sun, until I’m ashes.

And then the pain comes (so much pain – it constricts my breathing) and the grief, the endless grief, so dark, like death in my mind.
Despair creeps up on me, the agony of a thousand dying stars, the death of tomorrow – they drape me in midnight, in a black darker that the empty sky. Thick, inescapable black that seeps through my skin and replaces the blood in my veins. Every bit of good is gone. Every bit of hope is gone.

. . .

When you see me I’m the girl with the grey-sky eyes, anhedonic and numb. (But you’ll never know.) I hide behind the brightest smile. (I lie, I lie.)
But I’m still fighting the fight that never ends.

. . .

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