It’s raining outside. The two of us are sitting on opposite sides of the table, in the dark bar with the loud music, staring at our almost-empty glasses avoiding each others gaze.
My glass is empty, but I continue staring at it like it’s about to tell me something fascinating. Alan plays with his straw for a little while and then pushes his empty glass away. He has curious eyes. Big, brown – they shine during the day.
“Are you ok?” he asks.
I nod, blinking and shyly looking at him. Everything’s ok. Everything’s always ok. That’s the lie we tell each other while we are drowning. I hide the fact that I’m struggling to breathe behind my smile. But deep down he knows…
“Is your medication not working? Should I call the doctor?”
“No, it’s ok. Unless of course you can call the Doctor. Preferably the Tenth!” I laugh.
He laughs too. “Wish I could.” He takes a drag from his hand-rolled cigarette. “Wish I could…”
“Yeah, me too. I wish we were somewhere else. I wish this weren’t happening. I wish…” 
“What happens now?”, he asks.
I pause for a moment. I’m avoiding his eyes again.
“I don’t know. I can’t stand the empty sky, the darkness. It hurts.”
“Come on, let’s go outside.”
“Is it time to go?”, I ask.
“No, not yet. Let’s just walk for a bit.”
It’s almost midnight, the rain has stopped and everything’s muddied outside, but no one cares. I close my eyes. This isn’t a fairytale; no prince will come to save me from the poison the doctors have injected into my veins.
“You look so pale. Are you sure you don’t want me to take you to the hospital?”
“You know, I only just wanted to be happy.” 
“But it’s not too late. There’s more medication we can try and more therapies and…”
“But I’m just tired. I know you don’t want me to go. But you don’t love me. You never really did. And you won’t be able to resuscitate me after my heart gives out. You won’t be able to put breath back into my lungs.” 
I pause again and stare silently at the empty sky, biting my lips, fluttering my eyelids. Waiting for him to deny it.
“You are right.”, he mutters staring at the pavement.
“I think it’s time to go now.”, I say.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Why don’t you light another cigarette? Why don’t you sing to me? That song, from when we were kids. And we didn’t understand the world. We didn’t know. Sing to me.
I know you cannot give me light, I know you cannot save me, but you can give me a moment of peace. I’ll be gone before your cigarette is out, before you open your eyes. And you won’t remember me. Only the song will remain. A flickering star, above the ashes…”